What's The Deal With Eating Out??

It's a hurdle for sure. There’s so much anxiety about going out to eat when you’re gluten-free. The lifestyle itself can make you feel like your options are limited—at least, that’s how I felt when I got my diagnosis. Life seemed less fun, less spontaneous, and definitely less filled with options. It was like a big ol' gloomfest over every social invitation.

That’s exactly what I want to discuss: the limitations of dining out while gluten-free. The amount of planning and forethought it takes, and the potential anxiety when things go awry (because, let’s face it, a lot of it is outside our control). So often, I just want to show up to a setting—someone’s wedding, a birthday, or a celebration dinner—and not have my food needs on blast.

The questions start running through my head:

• Do I show up and try to figure it out?

• What precautions do I take with the restaurant or caterer if I do?

• Do I come later to avoid the meal entirely?

• Or do I skip it altogether because the anxiety feels like too much, and I don’t want to be a burden?

I’ve had each of these thoughts—and I’ve acted on all of them at one time or another.

Is it more trouble than its worth?

What I’ve Learned (The Hard Way)

Through much trial and error, I’ve learned I can’t let the anxiety consume me to the point of missing out on life’s moments. Relationships are more important than perfection, and these moments often happen around a dinner table. After nearly 12 years, the majority of my close family and friends not only understand my gluten-free needs but advocate for my health because they know the seriousness of the celiac diagnosis and that managing it requires a strict gluten-free lifestyle.

But let me be honest: this was not the case in my first few years, nor is it the reality for many now. Back then, I was juggling everything—learning the rules of gluten-free eating, educating myself and others, and obsessing about cross-contamination. Dining out felt like a risk I couldn't afford to take.

Now, I’m not one to advocate for hibernation, though trust me, it’s tempting! So, for those like me, knowing your go-to's, asking great questions, and being prepared can help in your experiences. Plus, gluten-free dining has come a long way! Options exist if you know where to look.

Practical Tips for Dining Out Gluten-Free

Let’s talk through some insights and tips to make eating out a little easier:

1. It’s Not the Server’s Job to Know Everything. We can’t assume the waitstaff will know all about gluten-free living—it’s our responsibility to know our bodies and communicate our needs. Ask questions kindly and respectfully, and share the information they need to help you. Ask them to repeat your order to you in the end. I typically incorporate the words gluten-free 2-3x throughout my order.

2. Learn and Use Your Server’s Name. Building a connection goes a long way. I’ve found that when I use a server’s name, they’re more present and attentive during our conversation, which builds better interaction.

3. Do Your Homework. Review the menu online and call ahead if needed. Call during non-peak hours and ask if they have a gluten-free menu.

4. Avoid Buffets. Just don’t. It’s a cross-contamination nightmare.

5. Skip the Drive-Thru. Go inside for fast food orders to better communicate your needs. Plus, you can double-check everything before leaving.

6. Keep It Simple at New Places. Trying a new restaurant? Stick to common menu items. Dining with a big group? Simplify your order to avoid complications.

7. Trust Your Gut. If something feels off—whether it’s the restaurant's food handling or your server’s understanding—don’t risk it. Your health is worth more than one meal.

   
   

The Reality of Dining Out

Is it really possible to safely dine out gluten-free??

Sometimes, it’s awkward. Your meal might come out wrong, late, or not at all. You can’t always choose the mom-and-pop diner that uses one fryer for everything. And dollar menus? Those are a thing of the past.

But there are options. And for me, they’re worth it.

Sure, I still face cross-contamination. Most people would tell you short of never leaving your residence, there’s always going to be some possibility that it could go wrong. But to me, the 1-2x per year I might get sick has been worth it for all my many fun experiences.

Living a life where I only cook at home? That’s not for me. I see it as a challenge—and even an opportunity—to inform others and leave a positive impression of what gluten-free living can look like.

A Word About Your Gut

You might wonder: “If you eat out so often, how do you know your gut is okay?” Great question!

I see a GI doctor regularly and get an endoscopy every two years. My last check-up was great, so I know my strategies are working. Highly recommend finding a GI doctor who gets it and can help ease your anxiety. It’s worth the peace of mind.

For the Balance-Seekers

This one’s for the person trying to find balance. I get it—it’s complicated and overwhelming at first. But it is possible. Start small. Use a few of the tips above.

Maybe this week, pick a restaurant you’ve been eyeing, give them a call, and see what you can plan. Take a friend with you who understands your situation and potential anxiety. Keep me posted—I’d love to hear about your experience!

Together, we’re figuring this out one meal at a time.